A few observations from the week:
Why - when you wear absolutely no make-up, dress in little more than your pajamas on a daily basis, and appear to style your hair with a wind tunnel and a tumbleweed - why would you wax your legs and eyebrows on a regular basis? Does anyone else find this odd?
You walk by me ONE MORE TIME scuffling your feet and I WILL choke the life out of you. If you can't pick up your feet, wear lighter shoes! I didn't realize flip-flops were so heavy!
No, I did not know that there are eight trillion milligrams of sodium in my Lean Cuisine and that I should not be putting more salt on it. Yes, I am trying the Atkins diet. Yes, I know that it may not promote healthy long-term eating habits. No, I didn't realize I hired you to be my personal nutritionist.
When are people going to realize that chunks of crystal rubbed in their armpits do NOT make for an adequate deodorant?
Thank you for pointing out to me EVERY TIME I wear my glasses that I look like a librarian, and that putting my hair in a ponytail doesn't do much for my forehead. You flatterer!
Why is it necessary for four people to crowd into the elevator before letting one get out?
Telemarketers: I appreciate that you have a job to do, but so do I. When you call and ask for Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So, and I say, "This is a place of business," you should know that translates into "Shut your piehole and stop trying to lower my mortgage rates while I am working." Call me tonight at home instead, and I will politely tell you that I am on the other line. 'Cause I'm nice.
Standing behind my chair and breathing down my neck will not help me finish that project you need any faster. Get a mint - your breath gives dogs a run for their money.
Fish. In the microwave. It stinks. FOR DAYS. Do that at home, please.
Memo Patrol, a.k.a. Elderly Building Security: Thank you for dropping off a reminder about the blood drive next Tuesday. I will make sure to put it with the 42 others that you dropped off this week.
It's okay that you laughed at me today when I sat down on the very edge of my chair, causing it to shoot across the floor and thus dump me flat on my arse. Hell, I thought it was funny, too.
Ahhhh, can you feel the love?!?
Trying to take the advice scrawled across my coffee cup and "Love the moment"...
6 comments:
Amen! Pass the biscuits and gravy. You are sooooooo linked my dear!
Just smile and nod...smile and nod...smile and nod. And when no one's looking, bang your head on your desk a few times. I know the feeling. :D~L.
HAHA - I knew that people out there would know what I'm talking about! Thanks for stopping by, ladies!
Were we at some of the same places yesterday?!? I was at the mall for a bit and posted a rant of people who irritated me within a 24 hour period. I absolutely DESPISE people who can't lift up their feet when they walk. It's not hard! We've been doing it since childhood. I actually stopped, looked pointedly at the people (there was a group of them) and then at their feet hoping telepathy worked and I wouldn't have to shoot them. It didn't. Thankfully to them, I didn't have a gun.Grace
Feet-scuffling is definitely up on my list of pet peeves! Makes my skin crawl like nails on a chalkboard!
LOL! Too funny. GREAT post... even though I'm one of those people who dress down all the time but keep my eyebrows plucked. Snort!
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