Paying it Forward

Tawny Maria called me last night with a very cool phone call. Tawny is one of my very best friends; we met at ninth-grade orientation when I moved from Colorado to Montana for high school, and we have been thick as thieves ever since.

Last spring she became engaged to a guy from Coffeyville, KS and moved from Billings, MT down to the Tulsa, OK area to be near him until they got married. He pushed her and pushed her to get married as quickly as possible, but she kept holding back because the timing was never quite right. Thank God she went with her gut because things in the relationship rapidly disintegrated around December and by the end of January, it was over. She has been stuck in Tulsa ever since, trying to make the best of things while waiting for an opportunity for her and her five year-old daughter Bailey to get out of there. On a side note: I got to see Bailey come into this world, and next to marrying my husband, being there while my best friend delivered her child is the single-most awesome experience I've ever had. She took a huge leap of faith for love - including the willingness to take on a stepmother role to the guy's four kids - and while there are PLENTY of evil things I would LOVE to say about her ex-fiancé, the fact it's over now and I don't want to beat a dead horse. Having never had the chance to meet him, I can only assume it would take the most giant jackass in the world to let Tawny go, plain and simple. It has been a huge struggle for her emotionally and financially to keep things going, and the fact that her ex just got married on Saturday (!!!) does not really help the healing process along. But she's persevering, working two jobs and trying like hell to make it in a city that she never would have thought about living in if it weren't for the courage it took to follow her heart.

Stuck somewhere with no friends and no family is hard for anyone, and it has been even harder for Tawny given the originally happy circumstances that brought her to Tulsa. She is making friends, though, and trying to use each day to gain a little more happiness and a little more hope. Being a single mom, she is more than familiar with having no money whatsoever, and sometimes even having less than that. She works tirelessly all week long as a counselor at a home for troubled boys, after having put herself through school to get her Master's in social work, and then works a second job on the weekends to make ends meet, all while trying to spend as much time with Bailey as she possibly can. If she has the time, she attends a support group through her church that kind of helps her get through the rough times and maintain some semblance of clarity.

It was in this support group last week that Tawny had somewhat of a minor breakdown. It was nothing, really, but everything going on in her life just got a little overwhelming, and she started to cry. Everyone offered her their support and friendship, the meeting ended, and she got on with her day.

Yesterday as she was driving home from her part-time job, she received a phone call from a woman in her support group, wondering what Tawny was up to and where she was. As Tawny explained that she was heading towards home, she mentioned what road she happened to be on and the woman excitedly proclaimed that Tawny was only about a block away from the woman's house, and asked Tawny to come by. She said she had a little something for Tawny, and that if she could have sent it in the mail she would have, but she didn't have the address - only a phone number. Tawny agreed to come by the woman's house, thinking that while she didn't know her very well, or really at all, that given Tawny's crying jag in the support group the previous week, maybe the woman just wanted to give her a card and offer a little "Hang in there" encouragement.

When Tawny got there, the woman was out working in her yard. Tawny walked up and said hi, and the woman basically asked her two questions: (1) did Tawny believe that God could bring unexpected blessings in life; and (2) did Tawny believe in the concept of Pay it Forward? She answered yes to both of those and the woman happily handed Tawny an envelope. Tawny thanked her and looked down at it, and looked back up again only to find the woman already heading into her house, without a goodbye or a backward glance.

She got back into her car, broke the seal on the envelope, and expecting to find a thoughtful card, pulled out an even more thoughtful $600.

When I talked to her last night, she said she had no idea why the woman gave her that money. Maybe Tawny's sadness in the support group struck a chord with her, or maybe she was somehow aware of the financial burdens Tawny has been under. Or maybe God just said, "Hey, I know a great gal that needs a little help and you're just the one to do it." Who knows? It's just amazing the timing that she had, and that she reached out to Tawny in a great time of need. She just wanted to do a good thing. Not to get any recognition or put any expectations out there; just to do something very cool, and for Tawny to one day pass it on.

While that story isn't funny to read or particularly eventful, it is huge to me because I absolutely love it when something happens to show us all why we can still have faith in human kindness. In a world where all kinds of crappy things happen and crappy people do crappy things, it's nice to see a little beacon of light that reminds us that good things actually do happen to good people, and even better when it's for no reason. And I can't think of anyone who deserves it more now than Tawny.

Pay it forward.